My blog has disappeared

my blog has disappeared

It happened. Thee are two things all bloggers dread that will happen to them. 1. They get hacked and 2. There blog disappears.

Well my blog disappeared. My own stupid fault. I turned off my automatic renew on my web hosting, but kept it renewed on my domain. I had all intension of shopping around for a new host and never got round to it. So when my blog hosting was up to renew It went un noticed until my blog was completely offline. Grrrrr. I could seriously kick my self. I mad the worst mistake ever. I did not back up my work in like forever.

I am so stupid and so annoyed at myself that I didn’t back up my files. it would have saved so much hassle. I contacted my web hosting and they were unable to restore my old blog files double poo!

So I have been trawling through google cached pages of my site to recover as much of my blog as possible. it is a long and boring process. It works but it takes forever, so I haven’t written a post in a few weeks and I expect it will be another week or two before I write another one. It really has knocked my motivation. I love summer and have so many posts I want to write all over the summer holidays but now I just ain’t feeling it.

I am going to spend a couple of nights trying to retrieve all 200 posts and all the comments and get some motivation back.

I had over 2000 comments on this blog and the only way I can think of getting them back is by adding them to the bottom of the blog post, I cant think of any other way to add them. That annoys me even more.

Huge warning fellow bloggers BACK YOUR FILES!!!!!!

Book Review Goth Girl

goth girl book review

Meet Ada Goth. She lives in Ghastly-Gorm hall with her father, Lord Goth, lots of servants and at least half a dozen ghosts, but she hasn’t got any friends to explore her enormous, creepy house with. Then, one night, everything changes when Ada meets a ghostly mouse called Ishmael. Together they set out to solve the mystery of the strange happenings at Ghastly-Gorm hall, and get a lot more than they bargained for….

 

If you have read through my blog you will know how much we love books and think that reading with your children is so important. Lately we have got into a routine again of reading stories before bed and it doesn’t stop there. BG1 constantly has a book in her hand, and LM – now he started to read more independently – is reading more often. I find myself when trying to choose books for the children that I tend to go for the books that I read as a child with the likes of Harry Potter, Narnia, and Tracey Beaker. There are so many more new Authors that I haven’t heard of or explored. BG1 being a little book worm that she is loves to find new books to read and new authors that she hasn’t come across.

So when we were given an opportunity to read Goth girl and the ghost of a mouse by Chris Riddell we were both very excited. We hadn’t come across this series before nor had we read books by Chris Riddell.

book review goth girl

When the book arrived the first thing that caught my eye was the deep purple colour. Purple is my favourite colour and I knew from this moment that me and BG1 would love this book. Also on the edge of the book was purple embossed flourishes and skulls. It is a beautiful and clean presented book.

I then noticed that not only did Chris Riddell write the book but he also illustrated it. I love when authors also illustrate their books, BG1 has said for many years now that she can’t decide whether she wants to be an Author like Roald Dahl or an illustrator like Quentin Blake and I am always telling her that she can be both and like to show her work where authors are also illustrators. Chris Riddell is a great example that I now reference for her to be inspired by.

The book itself contains 219 pages, the paper is an off white, thick and durable. BG1 has already opened and bent every page of the book, folded the corners when BG1 couldn’t find her bookmark and slept with it under her pillow.

book review goth girl

The book starts by briefly giving a backstory into Ada goth’s life. Her mother dies from a typrope accident when Ada was a small baby and her father is very unhappiness and lives his days writing long poems. He believes a child should be heard and not seen so Ada ha s to were big clumpy boots so Lord Goth can hear her coming. Ada is left on her own for most of the time and her father avoiding her.

There are numerous sketches throughout the book which I love. There are so many interesting characters drawn throughout and I love that it has a map of Ghastly-Gorm Hall. The sketches through out are a big part of what makes this book so exciting. I cannot express enough how much I love the sketches throughout the book. They help with visualizing each character and add a humour to the book.

What I find especially charming is the added footnote on certain pages. It actually contains a sketch of a severed foot holding a quill. According to the book it is the severed foot of a famous writer who lost it at the battle of Baden-Baden-Wurttenberg-Baden. Fairly early in the book we also meet the Polar explorer that was made by a scientist from body parts left from the same battle.

book review goth girl

Ishmael the mouse was killed by a mouse trap and meets Ada – Goth girl shortly after. Ishmael and Ada want to stop any more mice being killed by traps and set about getting rid of it. The traps were set up by the indoor games keeper Maltravers who was up to no good. Ada and Ishmael set about their adventure trying to find out what Maltravers was up too. Along the way they meet new characters and people that Ada had not met before. Including more children who she set up the Attic club with.

Don’t Let the title fool you. This book is not just for girls, LM enjoyed the book just as much when I read out loud to him.

What we liked about the book was the colourful and quirky characters. There were so many. Throughout the books the were a little humour about the story that parents would get. Characters that resembled well known characters from popular books such as the governess Jane Ear and there were the secret garden and the ever-more-secret garden.

Even though there were such colourful characters the story still had an element of realism. It didn’t feel so far fetched that you couldn’t believe a word of what was going on. It still felt believable. Vampires included.

We loved most about this book…..

Both Bg1 and I agreed that our favourite part of the book was the ending. We wouldn’t want to spoil it for you, you will have to read it and find out.

We enjoyed this book very much, and even though we tried to find something about the book that we didn’t like we really couldn’t. It was enjoyable and entertaining to read to BG1 and LM.

Have you read any Chris Riddell books? Which is your favourite? Have you read Goth Girl? What is your favourite part of the story?

But wait! There are more from Goth girl:

Goth girl and the fete worse than death

Goth girl and the pirate queen

Goth girl and the wuthering freight

And new!!! Goth girl and the sinister symphony out September 2017

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post: We were also sent this book for review. All opinions and words are my own.

This post contains affiliate links

 

book review goth girl

dbb9cd0609e4449c621c33a11de250b2d9319d16a1e2769bde

50 things I want my daughters to know

50 things i want my daughters to know

Dear Daughters,

You both are growing so fast, I wish I could just stop the clock and breath you in at this second just for a bit longer. You are currently 7 and 1, where is that time going. it only seems lie yesterday that you girls were born. My eldest and my youngest.

There is so much I want need to teach you, need you to know. You are my beautiful daughters, you surprise me every day with your manners, and knowledge that you have learnt so quickly in such few years.

BG1 in your 7 years you have learnt to share your toys with your brother. You have learnt to be a brilliant big sister that and little brother and sister would be proud to have. You have overcome your shyness and impressed and shocked us all. You have learnt walk, run and now even ride a bike. You haven’t always found learning easy but you do it anyway. You are a true angel and a precious daughter.

BG2 you have come so far this first year. You are stronger than all of us and in such a short time have overcome prematurity, medical procedures, illness and more. You are our little fighter who continues to look at us for guidance. You have learnt to crawl, to eat, to stand, to wave and to clap.

There is so much for you both to learn in this world. So many life decisions to make. There are things I want to teach you, so many things I want you to learn. I am sharing with you 50 things I want you to know as you grow. Even now writing this there are more things I can think of that I want you to know, but I will stick with 50 for now.

50 things I want you to know – My daughters

•Don’t be scared to ask questions. No matter how small or silly you think that question is always speak up and ask. I will help answer it if I can. And if I can’t, I will find someone who can.

•There will always be mean girls – you shouldn’t be one of them. It will get you know where being mean, I am raising polite, nice girls not mean ones.

•Don’t gossip – unless it’s with me. It does no good gossiping, it can really bite you in butt, but I won’t tell if you want to vent to me.

•A good cry can be a good thing. Sometimes you just need a good cry, it may be because you are sad or maybe happy. But sometimes it is for no reason at all, one day you will understand this. Let it out, it can make you feel better.

•You will always be my baby. This will never change, no matter how old you get I will always think of you as my baby. Get used to it.

•Learn to change a tyre. This will at some point in your life be very valuable. I didn’t learn this skill and ended up stuck.

•Sing loud and proud especially in the car and shower. Don’t be put off by what others think, if you want to sing belt your heart out. Singing is good for the soul.

•Always believe in fairies – I don’t want Tinkerbells death on my hands. You know mummy is a little strange and in coocoo land, this is one of my little weird and wonderful little beliefs that fairies do exist. Don’t ruin it for me, instead join me in fairy land.

•Being normal is boring. Why would you want to be normal. Stand out from the crowd and be proud to be different. I am not normal and I turned out okay.

• It’s okay to be weird, silly and different. Embrace your weirdness and quirks that make you – you. That’s what I love about you.

•You will always remember your first, wait for someone special. It doesn’t have to be the person you marry, but wait for someone who treats you the way you deserve and makes you laugh. I waited for your daddy to come along.

•Having a baby hurts like nothing you have ever experienced – but a baby at the end makes it more than worth it. But don’t be in a rush to experience it, enjoy life first.

•Always wear a clean pair of underwear. Or carry a spare pair with you, they will come in handy.

•You are beautiful – Don’t let anyone tell you differently. There can be some mean people in the world, but no matter what you are beautiful. Don’t hide away from the world, show the world your beauty.

•You can trust me with anything – mummies usually give great advice, they can also keep secrets. Always come to me no matter what I am here to listen.

•It’s okay to make mistakes. Nobody is perfect, I am not perfect. Mistakes will be made and you will learn from them that’s just the way of life. Don’t let the fear of making a mistake hold you back.

•Don’t do something bad because it’s cool and ‘everyone else is doing it’ – be the good girl. You don’t get far by being the bad girl. Stay good and prosper.

•Don’t do drugs, they’re disgusting and can be dangerous – I never did them I expect you to do the same.

•If someone doesn’t like you – walk away they are not worth it – change for nobody but yourself.

•Always be honest. Lies always come out eventually and someone will always get hurt because of them.

•Smile. You have a beautiful smile that light up your eyes. Do it often, it will make somebodies day.

•Bake. Everybody should learn this skill, bake anything and everything. Bake often.

•Don’t let a man change you. If he wants you to change, he aint worth it. Change for yourself and no one else.

•You only need one true friend.

•Always carry a spare pair of tights on a night out. You are bound to get a ladder at some point.

•And a pair of ballet pumps. You will be glad of the change in footwear. You may think your brand new 5inch heels are a great idea, but when you are out in them for a couple hours you will realise the are not that great.

•Believe in magic. Magic is everywhere, even when you don’t realise it. I’m not talking about the stuff magicians do to create illusions.

•Walk with your head up and shoulders back. Not only does it make you taller, but also makes you feel more confident.

•Never bite your finger nails. It took me years to grow nails that didn’t break after years of biting them. You have lovely nails. A beautiful set of polished nails can finish off any outfit.

•Laugh – have fun with your friends. Every body needs a little laughter in their life, have fun and enjoy your free time with friends.

•Smoking is not cool. Don’t start it, it’s disgusting and dirty. I have no problem in telling this to your daddy’s face too.

•Always look people in the eye when talking to them. It shows confidence, and understanding. You can go further if you look them in the eye.

•Mummy’s cooking is always the best. No you will not find anyone who will come close to my cooking. You may come close to my culinary skills but they will not top mine!

•I am always listening. I hear and see everything, even if you don’t think I am, I will always hear you.

•Chocolate isn’t the answer – but it sure helps.

•Never skip breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day – remember it.

•You can do anything a man can, and probably better too. That includes play football!

•Dance whenever you feel like it. It doesn’t matter where you are or who you are with, if you want to dance, dance. Even if you aren’t good at it. Even if it’s in the frozen aisle at Asda.

•Dress for comfort, not to impress. Let your personality do the talking.

•Read. You can learn a lot from reading, so do it often.

•Follow your dreams – You can be Roald Dahl if you want to be. I will always help you where I can.

•It’s okay to love pink and toy cars a the same time. Cars aren’t just for boys.

•Football is not just or boys. You can play if you want to.

•Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I will be there to help you and so will so many others, if you don’t ask we can’t read your mind.

•A road trip isn’t a road trip if you don’t get lost.

•Fall in love with someone who makes you laugh – so much your stomach and cheeks hurt.

•I am always available for a hug. I give great hugs and welcome them at every opportunity.

•Start saving money as early as possible.

•Don’t be in a rush to grow up. There is plenty of time to grow up, stay young as long as possible.

•I love you. Forever and always

Your mummy xXx

a special birth story part 2 the Labour

a birth story part 2

 

 

We arrived at the hospital in one piece. The Hubby was waiting at the entrance. He opened the door and helped me out of the car.

We headed into the delivery suite where the midwife was expecting us. My mum was still a nervous wreck as I lay on the bed.

The midwife confirmed that my waters had broken. This led to a spiral of visits from consultants, doctors and paediatricians.

paediatrician.

I began to feel unwell. Lying down hooked up to the monitors did not agree with me . The paediatrician began to explain all the procedures that would happen if I went into labour now. I on the other hand couldn’t concentrate, I was going to be sick. I became hot and irritated asking to stop and have the monitors removed.

I was sick at that moment, the poor paediatrician apologised for giving me too much information and scaring me. He didn’t, I knew what would happen if I was to go into labour at 28 weeks.

The Doctor’s didn’t stop coming in. I was examined and swabbed for a test to see if I would go into labour in the next 24 hours. Then came the dreaded steroid injection. If you have ever had one of these I feel your pain. They are nasty, they go right into your leg muscle damn those things.

The midwife came back shortly after to inform me an ambulance was on it’s way to transfer me to a bigger hospital. My local hospital aren’t equipped for a baby under 32weeks.

My dad arrived with my hospital bag just as I was settled into the ambulance. We decided I would travel to the hospital on my own (and the midwife of course). There really was no point my husband and mum following. It was at least an hours drive to the hospital and it was already getting late in the evening. By the time we would get there and settled it would be the end of visiting hours. Plus the kids where at home and they hadn’t seen either of us since this morning.

Ambulance journey

As we were travelling to the hospital, the ambulance wasn’t gaining speed like it should be. So we had to pull over in a lay by and wait for another ambulance to arrive. It was at this point that I thought it was definitely the right decision for my mum not to follow, she would be freaking right about now.

The ride to the hospital was fairly quick. The midwife and paramedic were very chatty which is probably why the time passed quickly.

When we arrived I was shown to a delivery room, I had arrived on a busy night and I’m not quite sure they really knew what to do with me.

Once I was settled the midwife that came here with me said her goodbyes and left. I was now under the care of a new midwife in a hospital I wasn’t familiar with.

The midwife took some blood and put a cannula in my hand. She also brought me a sandwich, cup of tea and biscuits. I was so glad, I hadn’t eaten since lunch at 12 and it was now 10 o’clock.

alone and forgotten

This was basically the last time I would see anyone for the rest of the night. The midwife had warned me this may be the case as they were busy. But to buzz if I needed anything.

I made a quick call to the hubby for a little bit of reassurance and comfort before saying goodnight.

It was no good, I wasn’t going to sleep that night. I tossed and turned the entire night. I rang the hubby again at 7 o’clock that morning to make sure he was awake and getting the kids ready for school.

By 9 o’clock I began to cry. I really felt alone and forgotten. The mix of being in a different place, not sleeping and hunger had taken over and had me crying.

The midwife did eventually came to see me and brought breakfast and a brew. And the added bonus of more swabs. Shortly after I was moved to the maternity ward to a room shared by one other woman. It was peaceful and my roommate was lovely.

The hospital was really nice, completely different to my local hospital. The food was actually edible to start – dare I even say the food was nice!

tour of the nicu

I was there for a few days having more tests and visits from the doctors. I called the hubby and kids everyday – it was too far for them to visit everyday.

On the day the hubby did get to visit we had a tour of the NICU. The nurses where lovely and showed us around. The unit was quiet and dark with the soft sounds of machines beeping and babies sleeping.

They had arranged for me to have a scan to measure how much water I had left. This was downstairs in the maternity unit with all the expecting mothers. I was escorted there because I had no clue where to go and was directed to the waiting area. I sat there alone in my hubbies oversized t-shirt and sweat pants. Not a pretty picture, I did however manage to brush my hair. The sonographer measured the water, there was none. Nothing left for her to measure.

When Saturday arrived I was visited by a specialist to discuss what would happen next, she arrived early around 9 o’clock. She explained that some woman go as long as full term with little waters as long as they are monitored for infection. I could go home tomorrow and I asked when I could return to work. She laughed and said I can’t go back to work, I was to be on bed rest.

After she left I went toilet, I hadn’t been for a few days and started to feel uncomfortable but still I couldn’t go. For the next hour I visited the toilet to try and get comfortable.

labour

I wasn’t in pain or having tightening’s but I had the urge to go to the loo. I remember that feeling when I had my first baby. By 10 o’clock I buzzed the midwife and she popped me on the monitor. i was beginning to get tightening’s and more uncomfortable by the minute.The girl I was sharing a room with had her sister visiting who timed the monitor for me.

A special birth

After 10 minutes the tightening’s were every 2 minutes and getting closer, as I knew that once labour starts I deliver fast I thought it best to call the midwife again. She asked me to walk to the exam room so I got out of bed and followed her. I felt the urge to pee so took a detour to the toilet. I was bleeding heavily.

Once in the exam room I had a scan to check the baby’s position, before I was wheeled to the delivery room waving to my room mate as I passed.

Once in the delivery room I bled again -a lot. The doctors felt it was best to move to the theatre in case I needed a C-section. They were concerned that my placenta was still low.

the end is near.

Once in the theatre a large team of Doctor’s and Nurses filtered in and everything is a little hazy after that.

What I do remember is the Doctor yelling at me to push. And then…

A foot appeared. My baby was a footling breach. At this point the doctor instructed the nurse to get the gas and air. The mask was placed over my face as the doctor reached up and pulled the other leg out as it was stuck.

We all know the head crowning is the most painful part of labour. The feeling you will be ripped in two never leaves you. There is no difference when having a breach baby, that head hurts like hell.

At 10:45 am the midwife called my husband to tell him I was in labour.

At 10:45am at 29 weeks exactly my baby was born. Afterward the doctor apologised for yelling at me as the nurse put me on a drip because I lost a lot of blood.

My wrist was hurting. I looked and it was swelling up.

” Is that normal?” I asked the nurse.

“Nope” She replied.

The cannula wasn’t working and the fluid sat in my wrist. That one came out and a new one got put in the other hand.

it’s a boy!

The Doctors worked on my baby in the corner of the room. As a nurse came over.

“Congratulations it’s a boy!”

I gulped “A Boy? Are you sure?”

She double checked. “Sorry, Your right it’s a girl.”

a special birth story

As they wheeled my daughter I could barely see her, apart from the green knitted hat they had placed on her head, and the plastic roasting bag she was tightly snuggled in.

I was wheeled back into the delivery room where I called my husband. He breathed a sigh of relief. He was in the car on his way with my mum. He so didn’t want to miss the birth, but hearing me put him at ease. He had imagined losing me or our daughter our both during the labour. While on the phone the midwife popped in to let us know our baby weighed a tiny 2lb 10oz.

An hour later my hubby, my mum, my dad and the in laws arrived. I was still hooked up to an IV. At the same time they arrived so did my lunch.

Now I don’t know if you have had a cannula removed from your hand but afterward it was tender. I had three removed from one hand this week. Every time I put my hand down by my side I got a painful throbbing sensation in it, I had to keep it elevated. The other hand was attached to the IV and I couldn’t reach the food.

This is where the hubby comes in use. I asked him to feed me. Now when I imagined my hubby feeding me my lunch I envisioned him lovingly and adoringly giving me small delicate mouthfuls. WRONG! He shovelled heaped fork full of cottage pie in my mouth before reloading and trying again while I still had a mouthful. My vision ruined I gave up and just asked for the ice cream instead.

Once I had eaten, the hubby, my dad and the in laws went in search of food while my mum helped me shower.

I don’t care how old you get you will always need your mum. She has helped me in the shower after every birth and this one was no different.

nicu adventure

The tribe arrived back from lunch and it was time. I was sat in a damn wheelchair and taken to the NICU to see my baby girl.

She was tiny. We were warned her skin would be really sticky but it wasn’t. She was perfect. She was covered in wires and tubing equipment to breath for her.

I placed my hand over her entire body and that would be the beginning of our NICU adventure.

nicu adventure

Do you still want more. How about checking out the first time I held my new baby here.

Don’t forget to check out the birth of my eldest daughter and my Little man

a special birth story part 1 pregnant

a special birth story part 1 pregnant

back to the beginning!

When you first find out you are pregnant so many thoughts run through your mind. Most of them excited about the long road ahead.

With this birth story I will be back tracking and taking you back right to the beginning. Where it all started, when I found out I was pregnant.

It took 18months to conceive my son, so we decided early we didn’t want to wait to try for our third in case it took as long with our third. Turns out it would take longer.

Isn’t it just so, when everybody seems to be pregnant when you are trying to have a baby. Maybe you just notice them more. I remember throughout the three years trying for a baby this person was pregnant, that person was pregnant; everyone seemed to be pregnant but me. On the odd occasion I would go home to my husband crying because yet again it wasn’t me.

I lost count of the number of people who said to me ‘but you have two beautiful babies, be thankful for what you have.’ I AM grateful for what I have thank – you. Let me tell you now this is the most disheartening thing you can say to a woman who desperately ants another baby.

If she has other children she is fully aware of how ‘lucky’ she is that some ladies don’t have babies at all. But it makes the pain of not having that next baby any less heartache. She doesn’t need to be told how lucky she already is. And the same goes for ‘just relax, if you stress too much it won’t happen’. I am fully aware of this however, you try having this huge want, need for another baby and it isn’t happening. Let’s see how stressed you get. Some people should learn to keep their mouths shut; trying for a baby can be a touchy subject. (That’s my rant bit over).

However after the second year of trying for a baby had past, I had learnt to be thicker skinned about it all. Just smile and nod. I no longer let it get to me, I was happy for those around me who were blessed with expecting a new baby. Not that I wasn’t before, but I no longer went home and cried.

We had moved back home with my parents by this point, so it wasn’t the right time anyway.

It was coming up to three years trying for a baby and that hit me pretty hard. I decided to give searching the web for help again before going down the doctor route.

I came across a few forums on netmums I think it was, about vitamin B complex. So I bought some vitamins along with trying to conceive multivits. I was hoping it would help with regulating my periods more, losing a stone had already helped a little.

Sure enough four weeks I started spotting so I stopped taking the vitamins and the spotting stopped with it. Guess it wasn’t going to work.

A few weeks later I started feeling unwell, feeling sick because I was hungry, feeling sick because I had eaten. I couldn’t win.

I spoke with my sister in law and she said she had been feeling similar. However, a week later and I was no better. I jokingly said to my sister in law, ‘hey I’m probably pregnant’. She was unsure if I was joking or not. Part of me was joking however, the other part of me had a feeling it wasn’t a joke.

I mentioned it to my husband and he told me to find out for sure and get a test. I did, eventually order a test from Amazon three weeks later.

Part of me didn’t want to get my hopes up. If I didn’t pee on the stick I wouldn’t be disappointed again so I left it as long as I could. My period was nothing to go by as that would make an appearance anywhere between six and sixteen weeks. I was still feeling ill so I had to bite the bullet.

When the test did finally arrive I didn’t wait and went straight to the toilet.

When the stick came up positive I couldn’t wait to text the hubby a picture.

I’m Pregnant!

My pregnancy went well; I threw up in bushes on the school run, fell asleep at inappropriate hours, and had heart burn from the moment I woke to the moment I went to bed.

I loved being pregnant this time around. I enjoyed my first pregnancy, my second I hated every second. But I loved my third. I don’t know what it was but this pregnancy just suited me, despite the sickness and heartburn.

The time was flying by, probably due to the fact I was about eleven weeks when the stick turned positive and about fourteen weeks we told family.

My 20 week scan approached and we were excited to find out if we were going t have a little girl or little boy.

At my 20 week scan the sonographer had a good look around; the baby was in an awkward position. She had to push fairly hard t get in and around the baby to take all the measurements. We did however find out we were expecting a girl. We also found out that I had a slightly low placenta, and I would need further scans in the hope it would move up.

The excitement oh having a little girl had us skipping out of the hospital. We decided to keep the fact we were having a girl to ourselves, just me and the hubby. We did almost slip a few times.

After the scan we went home to chill on the sofa.

I bent over the back of the sofa to pick something up. I felt a kind of pop sensation and immediately needed the toilet.

I went to the toilet and the colour drained from my face. I was bleeding, a lot. The sonographer had warned me I may have a bleed, I did not expect it to be two hours later.

Back to the hospital we go.

I spent the night in hospital and sent home to take it easy.

The next few weeks were busy. We had just bought our first home, it was the summer holidays and we had to get the house ready to move in by the end of the holidays. The entire holiday was filled with decorating and packing.

We moved in to our new home just before the ids went back to school. We had to live off microwave meals, salad and anything else we could make without a hob and oven.

We had been in the house two weeks before our oven fitted. We still had to wait a further 24 hours to use it.

The electrician came back and gave us the all clear to use the oven. Hurray! I set about making a cottage pie.

I managed to persuade my sister to come over in the afternoon; she played with LM while I set about cutting the onions for my cottage pie.

I was half way through my onion when I needed to pee and couldn’t stop myself. I ran to the toilet and the water still kept going. Either I had lost all control of my bladder or my waters had broken.

I called the midwife and she asked to see me at the hospital for an examination, as I was still losing water 15 minutes later the likely hood of my waters have being broken was high.

I was calm and collected. My mum on the other hand was a total wreck, I did offer to drive the car to the hospital, and I think I had a better chance of getting us there in one piece.

My water’s were the first thing to go to indicate my labour with my first pregnancy. I was 28 weeks pregnant and on my way to hospital, possibly about to have my baby.

Want to know what happens next? Head over to part 2 and read more.

The first time I held you

the first time i held you

A letter to my baby girl born prematurely. You are a big part of the reason I wanted to start blogging. I just wished I had started sooner to log all my memories and thoughts throughout the first few months of your life.

 

To my baby girl…

The first time I held you

Four days! You were four days old when I first got to hold you. That precious time just you and me, kangaroo care all the way. I placed you down my top to keep you safe and warm.

You snuggled up under my chin, I barely felt you there, you were so small. Tubes and wires would get tangled and placed all over us, there were so many.

the first time i held you

I lay back in my chair, the room so silent. I lightly kissed you on your head, trying not to disturb you too much. I would smell you as you slept so soundly on my chest. That baby smell that any mum can recognise, I wasn’t sure you would have but you did.

Those tiny little fingers grasped at my clothes as you made yourself comfortable. The alarms went off and the oxygen was turned up, the alarms went off and the oxygen was turned down.

You were my tiny delicate baby, yet you were stronger than all of us. The one I tried to hold on to but you were ready to make your appearance ahead of time. I would visit you as often as I could, and hold you in my arms for as long as I could. Even if that was only for an hour, that time was mine and yours.

Nobody else mattered when you were tucked up in my arms, nobody else was there. It was just me and you as I lay back in the chair and drifted in a light sleep listening to your breath, feeling your heart beat against my chest.

That feels a lifetime ago now. Now that you are nine months old and are so much bigger. I regret not being there as much as I wanted to be and not holding you more often. I tried to make up for it when you got home and wouldn’t put you down.

You were my tiny delicate baby. The one I tried to hold on to but you were ready to make your appearance ahead of time.

Now you are nine months old, the time has gone so fast. Now that you are nine months old you are growing up so quick.

Now you are nine months old you are chunky and squishy, there is so much of you to love.

I love the fact you now cuddle me back and slobber over my face when you kiss me.

I wish I could have kept you inside until you were ready and finished growing, but those special moments in the hospital. Those special moments I will remember forever. The fist time we fed you a bottle at 6 weeks old. Your first ever bath at 7 weeks old. The way you would turn your head towards us when you heard daddy’s voice when you were first born.

You being born prematurely may have not been the idea of a perfect pregnancy or birth. But you are perfect in everything you do.

The first time I held you was something special, a moment I will never forget. Every first we have together is special and cherished. A memory that holds a big piece of my heart.

Love you always
Your
Mummy xXx

My little mans birth story

my little mans birth story

I wrote previously about my big girls birth story . It’s only fair that I do my little man’s too.

Little Man was due nine months after my wedding day. Coincidence right? Not really, We had wanted another baby for quite sometime, BG1 was only six months old when I came off the pill (not sure it was worth me even starting it). I have always wanted my children close in age so this seemed reasonable.

However as with many things, it doesn’t always go to plan. It took eighteen months before I finally fell pregnant. It was suggested to me to try the clear blue fertility monitor (this is the newer version) by my uncle, after him and his wife had used one.

I got to a point where I was desperate for another baby, BG1 was two and was no longer a baby. We decided to just go for it, if we fell pregnant as a result it would be well worth the money.

I waited for my next period and started to pee on sticks daily, the days ticked bye and nothing 14…15…16…17days went by and still not a Dickie bird 18…19….20…21 still nothing. I was beginning to think I just don’t ovulate. Day 22 of my cycle and a little egg appeared on the monitor. Woohoo! I was ecstatic, probably more than one should be at a sign of an egg, but it seemed to take forever. So it is determined I ovulate late, no wonder we weren’t getting pregnant.

Even more excitement followed a couple of weeks later when the other little stick showed up positive.

I’m Pregnant!

My pregnancy progressed nicely, I had a bigger bump than I did with BG1 – which was pretty much none. I had a huge amount of heart burn, the sleepless nights, sore boobs, most typical pregnancy ailments, I had them. At twenty-eight I had a glucose test (totally not a fan and almost threw my guts up). Thankfully it came back normal, I did realise that the pee tests were showing glucose when I had eaten something sugar before going to bed and going toilet a large amount of times in the night.

At 32 weeks I was given steroid injections due to BG1 being early. I was expecting LM to be early too. That was far from wrong. He held in there until thirty-nine weeks on the dot.

labour begins…

Early hours of a Wednesday morning – 2am – my partner had been to a party and fell asleep on the sofa, I crept downstairs to wake him to come to bed. At 2.15am I felt a sharp pain in my lower stomach, it was an unusual pain and seeing as I was so late in recognising I was in labour with BG1 I wasn’t going to take any chances.

Low and behold five minutes later I had another one, this time it was more distinguishable so I made my way to the toilet (notice a theme with my births – the toilet is always involved). It was then that I had my show and I knew for definite this was it. I text my mum to pick me up, and made my way to wake the Hubby. He wasn’t to happy that I woke him in his still intoxicated state, but he knew he would get an earful.

Within a space of fifteen minutes my contractions had gone from 5 minutes apart to only two minutes apart, they were getting closer with each contraction.

I sat down on the bed to put my socks on, however I was met with an excruciating pain shooting up through my body. I was unable to sit and lay back on the bed, knowing I was not going to make it to the hospital I urged he Hubby to call the labour ward, this baby was coming.

At that moment the tribe that are my family strolled through the door. My mum being there at my first labour heard me from upstairs and instinctively knew I was not far from giving birth. She instructed my dad to call the ambulance as she and my sister came to help me.

The hospital was on the line with the hubby instructing him what to do while we wait for the midwife. The 911 call centre was on the line instructing my mum what to do.

Apparently I screamed a lot! I didn’t think I was that bad, but when three people tell me I was then you can’t really argue.

I was scared to push, I was not ready for this baby to make it appearance. I remember telling my mum to F**k off when she touched my legs. I was extra sensitive during this labour.

My Dad and middle sister left us to it, they stayed well out of the way waiting for the ambulance and midwife.

…And ends in a flash!

Hubby was running around finding towels. He happened to go past the bedroom door as Lm slid out. My mum literally had to stop him from sliding off the bed.

Lm was born at 3.05am. My mum and little sister helped deliver him, my husband almost missed it. BG1 woke up at the same time, I remember standing at her gate saying ‘ is my brother borned now’. Even now she will mention that evening vividly in her mind and say ‘All the doctors were at our house when LM was born in your bed’.

The ambulance arrived a few minutes later and the midwife shortly after that.

The hubby set about making every one a cup of tea. While I was being attend to by the midwife.

I had always planned a home birth with BG1 and that never happened (read her birth story here). With LM I had planned a hospital birth and surprise surprise that never happened either.

Little man had to be monitored as his temperature was low so the midwife was going to come back at 8.00am to check on him.

Once the medical staff left I couldn’t wait to get in the shower. While I was in the shower my mum got baby dressed, cleaned the bedroom and changed the sheets.

It felt amazing after my shower to climb into a clean bed with fresh clean sheets a cup of tea and a new baby to snuggle.

The midwife did eventually come back and little man’s temperature. Still it was low so we ended up going into hospital for a night stay to be monitored.

Yes that was a bummer. The best part of a home birth is your own bed, so I was a little disappointed to have to leave the house.

Although it was unexpected and unplanned I would still have another home birth. I was planning on a home birth with my third baby, but once again that never happened. But one day maybe I will get my planned home birth.

This contains affiliate links for products that I recommend. If you purchase those items through my links I will earn a commission.

trip to the dentist with the kids

kids trip to the dentist

Yesterday it was the kids regular six month check up at the dentist. I despise these trips.

BG1 loves the dentist, she is happy to jump up on the chair, open her mouth wide and choose her sticker at the end. I have had no problems with her from the start.

LM on the other hand is a nightmare! He refuses to sit on the chair, to open his mouth and look at anybody. I have tried everything. So I have resorted to taking my mum. The last time she took him I was at work, he did not make it easy but he did let the dentist have a look inside his mouth.

If it means we get the visit over and done with smoothly, I’m all for taking Nanny with us. She came with us and I was all positive things would go well, they didn’t. He refused to let the dentist look in his mouth again. Better luck next time.

Preparing for a trip to the dentist.

Now these tips may not have worked with my Little Man but they did with BG1.
•Let them go with you a few times. If they see that you aren’t scared they will feel more at ease when it’s their turn.
•Take them from a young age. Once they start getting their milk teeth, take them to the dentist, even if it is just watching you sat in the chair or they open their mouth for the dentist. It will make the next appointment much easier.
•Get into the habit of visiting the Dentist twice a year. Routine is key.
•Practise at home, role play dentists with your child. Get your child to open their mouth and say ‘aaahhh’ and peak in pretending you are a dentist. Let them do the same with you.
•Turn role play into learning, count their teeth with them, then it’s their turn.
•Read books about dentist visits such as: Peppa Pig: Dentist trip , Topsy and Tim go to the Dentist and Biff, Chip & Kipper: Going to the Dentist
•Remember to stay calm. This at times can be easier said then done, I know. I have come close to loosing my rag with little man at the Dentist office. Please remember that they are used to the tantrums and ‘not wanting to be there’ attitudes.
•Making brushing fun. In our house we use silly sounds for brushing the front like ‘eeeee’ and ‘aaaahhh’ for the back teeth.
•Persistence will pay off eventually. I am hoping and praying this will be the case with LM.

Have you taken your child to the dentist yet? Did they enjoy it? Or are they a nightmare too? Do you have any more tips to add? Let me know and comment below!

This post contains affiliate link, this means if you click on the link and make a purchase I will be compensated with some pennies at no extra cost to yourselves.

my big girls birth story

my big girls birth story

 

My beautiful Baby girl. At least she was; now she is my beautiful Big Girl. Some days I still find it hard to believe that she is seven. It still feels like yesterday those two blue lines appeared before my eyes.

She is my eldest baby, my first baby. No matter how big she gets she will always be my baby. Even if she does always say ‘mummy I’m not a baby anymore’. She is to me.

I also remember all too clearly the day she came into this world. The day my life changed forever, the day I became a mummy.

Let us begin a few days before I gave. I went to my aunt’s house. She took one look at me and said ‘Char, your lips are puffy! You’re going to have that baby in the next few days’. I just last yeh okay. Now I always had a feeling I wouldn’t go the full 40 weeks, I myself was born 4 weeks early.

However when my waters broke 3 days later I wasn’t expecting to be in labour this early.

12.15am Tuesday morning, (I was 35weeks and 5days) I coughed! Yes, I coughed and I wet myself – or so I thought. I couldn’t believe it, my bladder control had completely gone, and I had wet myself how embarrassing.

I felt quite a bit of pressure in my bottom a few minute later and still not realising my waters had broke I went to the toilet. Thinking I was constipated I was sat on the toilet for two hours before I even thought it could be labour.

I went in to wake my husband (at the time boyfriend). He was not that much help, he wasn’t sure if it was labour either and told me to wake my mum. We were living there at the time.

My mum, as she does panicked. It was too early and she was worried about it. Now luckily we lived next door to a paramedic, who my parents were really good friends with. My mum sent my dad over to knock on his door at three O’clock in the morning. Bless him he came over to check me out.

He was presented with me sat on the toilet, still convinced I was just constipated. So naïve.

I travelled to hospital via ambulance with my partner, arriving at 3:45am. My parents followed closely behind.

I was already 8cm dilated. My mum and partner was in the delivery room with me. My dad was in the waiting room asleep across the chairs.

My mum, wiped my forehead for me. She was there by my side and did what she needed to do to help me, but not interfering.

My husband! I was so impressed with my husband. Even though he was nervous, he didn’t show it. He held my hand as a twisted it into awkward positions. He calmed me! He spoke to me and was only focused on me, and I listened to him. He was the only voice I listened to. The midwife told me to calm down, and slow my breathing down, I didn’t listen. My husband told me to calm down, and slow my breathing, I listened. He breathed along with me, making me follow his pace. He was brilliant. I later found out that he had spent the past few months watching birthing video’s at work.

My baby girl was born at 5.03am. I only go to hold her for a few minutes. She was weighed and I guessed her weight correctly at 5lb 3oz. She was shortly after taken too the special care baby unit (SCBU) as she needed a bit of oxygen.

So that was it, I was finally a mummy. I remember closing my legs quickly when giving birth, my daughter came out with a crooked nose and bruised face because of it, my mum ended up holding onto my legs.

My mum helped me shower after giving birth. I remember her saying ‘oh, isn’t she lovely?’ I immediately said ‘No, did you see her face she looks like a wrinkly bulldog’. She then agreed with me and said ‘well I didn’t want to be the one to say anything.’ It sounds awful that I thought my baby girl was ugly, however a few hours later she looked more normal and beautiful.

We spent the next three days in hospital before coming home. I struggled in the beginning; I didn’t feel like a mum, I didn’t feel like I was bonding with her. But after a few weeks that all started to kick in and I was able to bond with my baby girl.

My beautiful baby girl that is not a baby any more.