50 things I want my daughters to know

50 things i want my daughters to know

Dear Daughters,

You both are growing so fast, I wish I could just stop the clock and breath you in at this second just for a bit longer. You are currently 7 and 1, where is that time going. it only seems lie yesterday that you girls were born. My eldest and my youngest.

There is so much I want need to teach you, need you to know. You are my beautiful daughters, you surprise me every day with your manners, and knowledge that you have learnt so quickly in such few years.

BG1 in your 7 years you have learnt to share your toys with your brother. You have learnt to be a brilliant big sister that and little brother and sister would be proud to have. You have overcome your shyness and impressed and shocked us all. You have learnt walk, run and now even ride a bike. You haven’t always found learning easy but you do it anyway. You are a true angel and a precious daughter.

BG2 you have come so far this first year. You are stronger than all of us and in such a short time have overcome prematurity, medical procedures, illness and more. You are our little fighter who continues to look at us for guidance. You have learnt to crawl, to eat, to stand, to wave and to clap.

There is so much for you both to learn in this world. So many life decisions to make. There are things I want to teach you, so many things I want you to learn. I am sharing with you 50 things I want you to know as you grow. Even now writing this there are more things I can think of that I want you to know, but I will stick with 50 for now.

50 things I want you to know – My daughters

•Don’t be scared to ask questions. No matter how small or silly you think that question is always speak up and ask. I will help answer it if I can. And if I can’t, I will find someone who can.

•There will always be mean girls – you shouldn’t be one of them. It will get you know where being mean, I am raising polite, nice girls not mean ones.

•Don’t gossip – unless it’s with me. It does no good gossiping, it can really bite you in butt, but I won’t tell if you want to vent to me.

•A good cry can be a good thing. Sometimes you just need a good cry, it may be because you are sad or maybe happy. But sometimes it is for no reason at all, one day you will understand this. Let it out, it can make you feel better.

•You will always be my baby. This will never change, no matter how old you get I will always think of you as my baby. Get used to it.

•Learn to change a tyre. This will at some point in your life be very valuable. I didn’t learn this skill and ended up stuck.

•Sing loud and proud especially in the car and shower. Don’t be put off by what others think, if you want to sing belt your heart out. Singing is good for the soul.

•Always believe in fairies – I don’t want Tinkerbells death on my hands. You know mummy is a little strange and in coocoo land, this is one of my little weird and wonderful little beliefs that fairies do exist. Don’t ruin it for me, instead join me in fairy land.

•Being normal is boring. Why would you want to be normal. Stand out from the crowd and be proud to be different. I am not normal and I turned out okay.

• It’s okay to be weird, silly and different. Embrace your weirdness and quirks that make you – you. That’s what I love about you.

•You will always remember your first, wait for someone special. It doesn’t have to be the person you marry, but wait for someone who treats you the way you deserve and makes you laugh. I waited for your daddy to come along.

•Having a baby hurts like nothing you have ever experienced – but a baby at the end makes it more than worth it. But don’t be in a rush to experience it, enjoy life first.

•Always wear a clean pair of underwear. Or carry a spare pair with you, they will come in handy.

•You are beautiful – Don’t let anyone tell you differently. There can be some mean people in the world, but no matter what you are beautiful. Don’t hide away from the world, show the world your beauty.

•You can trust me with anything – mummies usually give great advice, they can also keep secrets. Always come to me no matter what I am here to listen.

•It’s okay to make mistakes. Nobody is perfect, I am not perfect. Mistakes will be made and you will learn from them that’s just the way of life. Don’t let the fear of making a mistake hold you back.

•Don’t do something bad because it’s cool and ‘everyone else is doing it’ – be the good girl. You don’t get far by being the bad girl. Stay good and prosper.

•Don’t do drugs, they’re disgusting and can be dangerous – I never did them I expect you to do the same.

•If someone doesn’t like you – walk away they are not worth it – change for nobody but yourself.

•Always be honest. Lies always come out eventually and someone will always get hurt because of them.

•Smile. You have a beautiful smile that light up your eyes. Do it often, it will make somebodies day.

•Bake. Everybody should learn this skill, bake anything and everything. Bake often.

•Don’t let a man change you. If he wants you to change, he aint worth it. Change for yourself and no one else.

•You only need one true friend.

•Always carry a spare pair of tights on a night out. You are bound to get a ladder at some point.

•And a pair of ballet pumps. You will be glad of the change in footwear. You may think your brand new 5inch heels are a great idea, but when you are out in them for a couple hours you will realise the are not that great.

•Believe in magic. Magic is everywhere, even when you don’t realise it. I’m not talking about the stuff magicians do to create illusions.

•Walk with your head up and shoulders back. Not only does it make you taller, but also makes you feel more confident.

•Never bite your finger nails. It took me years to grow nails that didn’t break after years of biting them. You have lovely nails. A beautiful set of polished nails can finish off any outfit.

•Laugh – have fun with your friends. Every body needs a little laughter in their life, have fun and enjoy your free time with friends.

•Smoking is not cool. Don’t start it, it’s disgusting and dirty. I have no problem in telling this to your daddy’s face too.

•Always look people in the eye when talking to them. It shows confidence, and understanding. You can go further if you look them in the eye.

•Mummy’s cooking is always the best. No you will not find anyone who will come close to my cooking. You may come close to my culinary skills but they will not top mine!

•I am always listening. I hear and see everything, even if you don’t think I am, I will always hear you.

•Chocolate isn’t the answer – but it sure helps.

•Never skip breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day – remember it.

•You can do anything a man can, and probably better too. That includes play football!

•Dance whenever you feel like it. It doesn’t matter where you are or who you are with, if you want to dance, dance. Even if you aren’t good at it. Even if it’s in the frozen aisle at Asda.

•Dress for comfort, not to impress. Let your personality do the talking.

•Read. You can learn a lot from reading, so do it often.

•Follow your dreams – You can be Roald Dahl if you want to be. I will always help you where I can.

•It’s okay to love pink and toy cars a the same time. Cars aren’t just for boys.

•Football is not just or boys. You can play if you want to.

•Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I will be there to help you and so will so many others, if you don’t ask we can’t read your mind.

•A road trip isn’t a road trip if you don’t get lost.

•Fall in love with someone who makes you laugh – so much your stomach and cheeks hurt.

•I am always available for a hug. I give great hugs and welcome them at every opportunity.

•Start saving money as early as possible.

•Don’t be in a rush to grow up. There is plenty of time to grow up, stay young as long as possible.

•I love you. Forever and always

Your mummy xXx

a special birth story part 2 the Labour

a birth story part 2

 

 

We arrived at the hospital in one piece. The Hubby was waiting at the entrance. He opened the door and helped me out of the car.

We headed into the delivery suite where the midwife was expecting us. My mum was still a nervous wreck as I lay on the bed.

The midwife confirmed that my waters had broken. This led to a spiral of visits from consultants, doctors and paediatricians.

paediatrician.

I began to feel unwell. Lying down hooked up to the monitors did not agree with me . The paediatrician began to explain all the procedures that would happen if I went into labour now. I on the other hand couldn’t concentrate, I was going to be sick. I became hot and irritated asking to stop and have the monitors removed.

I was sick at that moment, the poor paediatrician apologised for giving me too much information and scaring me. He didn’t, I knew what would happen if I was to go into labour at 28 weeks.

The Doctor’s didn’t stop coming in. I was examined and swabbed for a test to see if I would go into labour in the next 24 hours. Then came the dreaded steroid injection. If you have ever had one of these I feel your pain. They are nasty, they go right into your leg muscle damn those things.

The midwife came back shortly after to inform me an ambulance was on it’s way to transfer me to a bigger hospital. My local hospital aren’t equipped for a baby under 32weeks.

My dad arrived with my hospital bag just as I was settled into the ambulance. We decided I would travel to the hospital on my own (and the midwife of course). There really was no point my husband and mum following. It was at least an hours drive to the hospital and it was already getting late in the evening. By the time we would get there and settled it would be the end of visiting hours. Plus the kids where at home and they hadn’t seen either of us since this morning.

Ambulance journey

As we were travelling to the hospital, the ambulance wasn’t gaining speed like it should be. So we had to pull over in a lay by and wait for another ambulance to arrive. It was at this point that I thought it was definitely the right decision for my mum not to follow, she would be freaking right about now.

The ride to the hospital was fairly quick. The midwife and paramedic were very chatty which is probably why the time passed quickly.

When we arrived I was shown to a delivery room, I had arrived on a busy night and I’m not quite sure they really knew what to do with me.

Once I was settled the midwife that came here with me said her goodbyes and left. I was now under the care of a new midwife in a hospital I wasn’t familiar with.

The midwife took some blood and put a cannula in my hand. She also brought me a sandwich, cup of tea and biscuits. I was so glad, I hadn’t eaten since lunch at 12 and it was now 10 o’clock.

alone and forgotten

This was basically the last time I would see anyone for the rest of the night. The midwife had warned me this may be the case as they were busy. But to buzz if I needed anything.

I made a quick call to the hubby for a little bit of reassurance and comfort before saying goodnight.

It was no good, I wasn’t going to sleep that night. I tossed and turned the entire night. I rang the hubby again at 7 o’clock that morning to make sure he was awake and getting the kids ready for school.

By 9 o’clock I began to cry. I really felt alone and forgotten. The mix of being in a different place, not sleeping and hunger had taken over and had me crying.

The midwife did eventually came to see me and brought breakfast and a brew. And the added bonus of more swabs. Shortly after I was moved to the maternity ward to a room shared by one other woman. It was peaceful and my roommate was lovely.

The hospital was really nice, completely different to my local hospital. The food was actually edible to start – dare I even say the food was nice!

tour of the nicu

I was there for a few days having more tests and visits from the doctors. I called the hubby and kids everyday – it was too far for them to visit everyday.

On the day the hubby did get to visit we had a tour of the NICU. The nurses where lovely and showed us around. The unit was quiet and dark with the soft sounds of machines beeping and babies sleeping.

They had arranged for me to have a scan to measure how much water I had left. This was downstairs in the maternity unit with all the expecting mothers. I was escorted there because I had no clue where to go and was directed to the waiting area. I sat there alone in my hubbies oversized t-shirt and sweat pants. Not a pretty picture, I did however manage to brush my hair. The sonographer measured the water, there was none. Nothing left for her to measure.

When Saturday arrived I was visited by a specialist to discuss what would happen next, she arrived early around 9 o’clock. She explained that some woman go as long as full term with little waters as long as they are monitored for infection. I could go home tomorrow and I asked when I could return to work. She laughed and said I can’t go back to work, I was to be on bed rest.

After she left I went toilet, I hadn’t been for a few days and started to feel uncomfortable but still I couldn’t go. For the next hour I visited the toilet to try and get comfortable.

labour

I wasn’t in pain or having tightening’s but I had the urge to go to the loo. I remember that feeling when I had my first baby. By 10 o’clock I buzzed the midwife and she popped me on the monitor. i was beginning to get tightening’s and more uncomfortable by the minute.The girl I was sharing a room with had her sister visiting who timed the monitor for me.

A special birth

After 10 minutes the tightening’s were every 2 minutes and getting closer, as I knew that once labour starts I deliver fast I thought it best to call the midwife again. She asked me to walk to the exam room so I got out of bed and followed her. I felt the urge to pee so took a detour to the toilet. I was bleeding heavily.

Once in the exam room I had a scan to check the baby’s position, before I was wheeled to the delivery room waving to my room mate as I passed.

Once in the delivery room I bled again -a lot. The doctors felt it was best to move to the theatre in case I needed a C-section. They were concerned that my placenta was still low.

the end is near.

Once in the theatre a large team of Doctor’s and Nurses filtered in and everything is a little hazy after that.

What I do remember is the Doctor yelling at me to push. And then…

A foot appeared. My baby was a footling breach. At this point the doctor instructed the nurse to get the gas and air. The mask was placed over my face as the doctor reached up and pulled the other leg out as it was stuck.

We all know the head crowning is the most painful part of labour. The feeling you will be ripped in two never leaves you. There is no difference when having a breach baby, that head hurts like hell.

At 10:45 am the midwife called my husband to tell him I was in labour.

At 10:45am at 29 weeks exactly my baby was born. Afterward the doctor apologised for yelling at me as the nurse put me on a drip because I lost a lot of blood.

My wrist was hurting. I looked and it was swelling up.

” Is that normal?” I asked the nurse.

“Nope” She replied.

The cannula wasn’t working and the fluid sat in my wrist. That one came out and a new one got put in the other hand.

it’s a boy!

The Doctors worked on my baby in the corner of the room. As a nurse came over.

“Congratulations it’s a boy!”

I gulped “A Boy? Are you sure?”

She double checked. “Sorry, Your right it’s a girl.”

a special birth story

As they wheeled my daughter I could barely see her, apart from the green knitted hat they had placed on her head, and the plastic roasting bag she was tightly snuggled in.

I was wheeled back into the delivery room where I called my husband. He breathed a sigh of relief. He was in the car on his way with my mum. He so didn’t want to miss the birth, but hearing me put him at ease. He had imagined losing me or our daughter our both during the labour. While on the phone the midwife popped in to let us know our baby weighed a tiny 2lb 10oz.

An hour later my hubby, my mum, my dad and the in laws arrived. I was still hooked up to an IV. At the same time they arrived so did my lunch.

Now I don’t know if you have had a cannula removed from your hand but afterward it was tender. I had three removed from one hand this week. Every time I put my hand down by my side I got a painful throbbing sensation in it, I had to keep it elevated. The other hand was attached to the IV and I couldn’t reach the food.

This is where the hubby comes in use. I asked him to feed me. Now when I imagined my hubby feeding me my lunch I envisioned him lovingly and adoringly giving me small delicate mouthfuls. WRONG! He shovelled heaped fork full of cottage pie in my mouth before reloading and trying again while I still had a mouthful. My vision ruined I gave up and just asked for the ice cream instead.

Once I had eaten, the hubby, my dad and the in laws went in search of food while my mum helped me shower.

I don’t care how old you get you will always need your mum. She has helped me in the shower after every birth and this one was no different.

nicu adventure

The tribe arrived back from lunch and it was time. I was sat in a damn wheelchair and taken to the NICU to see my baby girl.

She was tiny. We were warned her skin would be really sticky but it wasn’t. She was perfect. She was covered in wires and tubing equipment to breath for her.

I placed my hand over her entire body and that would be the beginning of our NICU adventure.

nicu adventure

Do you still want more. How about checking out the first time I held my new baby here.

Don’t forget to check out the birth of my eldest daughter and my Little man