Happy 2nd birthday little princess

Happy Birthday little princess









I just can’t quite believe it. Today is the today. Two years have flown by so quickly.

Today is my baby girls 2nd birthday.

I remember so clearly the day we found out we were expecting you, our precious baby girl. It only seems like yesterday that you were brought into this world 11 weeks early so tiny and fragile. I cherish our first cuddle together.

This past year your character has evolved and you are shining my sweet little girl. You are cheeky and mischievous in ways that make me laugh and in ways that really make my jaw drop.

You have progressed and grown so fast. You have overcome many challenges along the way and still surprise me every day how clever you are.

This past 12 months you have learnt to walk, open doors :/ and talk and hold short conversations.
It still makes me giggle when you said to daddy “Daddy you ha boobies”. I creased with laughter.

You have also found a love for Peppa pig, the Teletubbies and Hey Duggee. You love to eat from everybody’s plate except your own and you think crawling under your fitted sheet every night and hide is super funny.

Today you turn 2!

Today you turn two years old, not a day goes by that I don’t worry, care and love you. There are days that I want to wrap you in cotton wool and keep you safe and little forever.

Today we will eat cake and play with your new toys. Read your cards a thousand times because they have a picture of the Teletubbies and Minnie on them. We will have a picnic tea with your big sister and brother. Today is your day baby.

Happy Birthday!!

I am wishing you a big happy birthday princess.

happy birthday

a special birth story part 2 the Labour

a birth story part 2



We arrived at the hospital in one piece. The Hubby was waiting at the entrance. He opened the door and helped me out of the car.

We headed into the delivery suite where the midwife was expecting us. My mum was still a nervous wreck as I lay on the bed.

The midwife confirmed that my waters had broken. This led to a spiral of visits from consultants, doctors and paediatricians.


I began to feel unwell. Lying down hooked up to the monitors did not agree with me . The paediatrician began to explain all the procedures that would happen if I went into labour now. I on the other hand couldn’t concentrate, I was going to be sick. I became hot and irritated asking to stop and have the monitors removed.

I was sick at that moment, the poor paediatrician apologised for giving me too much information and scaring me. He didn’t, I knew what would happen if I was to go into labour at 28 weeks.

The Doctor’s didn’t stop coming in. I was examined and swabbed for a test to see if I would go into labour in the next 24 hours. Then came the dreaded steroid injection. If you have ever had one of these I feel your pain. They are nasty, they go right into your leg muscle damn those things.

The midwife came back shortly after to inform me an ambulance was on it’s way to transfer me to a bigger hospital. My local hospital aren’t equipped for a baby under 32weeks.

My dad arrived with my hospital bag just as I was settled into the ambulance. We decided I would travel to the hospital on my own (and the midwife of course). There really was no point my husband and mum following. It was at least an hours drive to the hospital and it was already getting late in the evening. By the time we would get there and settled it would be the end of visiting hours. Plus the kids where at home and they hadn’t seen either of us since this morning.

Ambulance journey

As we were travelling to the hospital, the ambulance wasn’t gaining speed like it should be. So we had to pull over in a lay by and wait for another ambulance to arrive. It was at this point that I thought it was definitely the right decision for my mum not to follow, she would be freaking right about now.

The ride to the hospital was fairly quick. The midwife and paramedic were very chatty which is probably why the time passed quickly.

When we arrived I was shown to a delivery room, I had arrived on a busy night and I’m not quite sure they really knew what to do with me.

Once I was settled the midwife that came here with me said her goodbyes and left. I was now under the care of a new midwife in a hospital I wasn’t familiar with.

The midwife took some blood and put a cannula in my hand. She also brought me a sandwich, cup of tea and biscuits. I was so glad, I hadn’t eaten since lunch at 12 and it was now 10 o’clock.

alone and forgotten

This was basically the last time I would see anyone for the rest of the night. The midwife had warned me this may be the case as they were busy. But to buzz if I needed anything.

I made a quick call to the hubby for a little bit of reassurance and comfort before saying goodnight.

It was no good, I wasn’t going to sleep that night. I tossed and turned the entire night. I rang the hubby again at 7 o’clock that morning to make sure he was awake and getting the kids ready for school.

By 9 o’clock I began to cry. I really felt alone and forgotten. The mix of being in a different place, not sleeping and hunger had taken over and had me crying.

The midwife did eventually came to see me and brought breakfast and a brew. And the added bonus of more swabs. Shortly after I was moved to the maternity ward to a room shared by one other woman. It was peaceful and my roommate was lovely.

The hospital was really nice, completely different to my local hospital. The food was actually edible to start – dare I even say the food was nice!

tour of the nicu

I was there for a few days having more tests and visits from the doctors. I called the hubby and kids everyday – it was too far for them to visit everyday.

On the day the hubby did get to visit we had a tour of the NICU. The nurses where lovely and showed us around. The unit was quiet and dark with the soft sounds of machines beeping and babies sleeping.

They had arranged for me to have a scan to measure how much water I had left. This was downstairs in the maternity unit with all the expecting mothers. I was escorted there because I had no clue where to go and was directed to the waiting area. I sat there alone in my hubbies oversized t-shirt and sweat pants. Not a pretty picture, I did however manage to brush my hair. The sonographer measured the water, there was none. Nothing left for her to measure.

When Saturday arrived I was visited by a specialist to discuss what would happen next, she arrived early around 9 o’clock. She explained that some woman go as long as full term with little waters as long as they are monitored for infection. I could go home tomorrow and I asked when I could return to work. She laughed and said I can’t go back to work, I was to be on bed rest.

After she left I went toilet, I hadn’t been for a few days and started to feel uncomfortable but still I couldn’t go. For the next hour I visited the toilet to try and get comfortable.


I wasn’t in pain or having tightening’s but I had the urge to go to the loo. I remember that feeling when I had my first baby. By 10 o’clock I buzzed the midwife and she popped me on the monitor. i was beginning to get tightening’s and more uncomfortable by the minute.The girl I was sharing a room with had her sister visiting who timed the monitor for me.

A special birth

After 10 minutes the tightening’s were every 2 minutes and getting closer, as I knew that once labour starts I deliver fast I thought it best to call the midwife again. She asked me to walk to the exam room so I got out of bed and followed her. I felt the urge to pee so took a detour to the toilet. I was bleeding heavily.

Once in the exam room I had a scan to check the baby’s position, before I was wheeled to the delivery room waving to my room mate as I passed.

Once in the delivery room I bled again -a lot. The doctors felt it was best to move to the theatre in case I needed a C-section. They were concerned that my placenta was still low.

the end is near.

Once in the theatre a large team of Doctor’s and Nurses filtered in and everything is a little hazy after that.

What I do remember is the Doctor yelling at me to push. And then…

A foot appeared. My baby was a footling breach. At this point the doctor instructed the nurse to get the gas and air. The mask was placed over my face as the doctor reached up and pulled the other leg out as it was stuck.

We all know the head crowning is the most painful part of labour. The feeling you will be ripped in two never leaves you. There is no difference when having a breach baby, that head hurts like hell.

At 10:45 am the midwife called my husband to tell him I was in labour.

At 10:45am at 29 weeks exactly my baby was born. Afterward the doctor apologised for yelling at me as the nurse put me on a drip because I lost a lot of blood.

My wrist was hurting. I looked and it was swelling up.

” Is that normal?” I asked the nurse.

“Nope” She replied.

The cannula wasn’t working and the fluid sat in my wrist. That one came out and a new one got put in the other hand.

it’s a boy!

The Doctors worked on my baby in the corner of the room. As a nurse came over.

“Congratulations it’s a boy!”

I gulped “A Boy? Are you sure?”

She double checked. “Sorry, Your right it’s a girl.”

a special birth story

As they wheeled my daughter I could barely see her, apart from the green knitted hat they had placed on her head, and the plastic roasting bag she was tightly snuggled in.

I was wheeled back into the delivery room where I called my husband. He breathed a sigh of relief. He was in the car on his way with my mum. He so didn’t want to miss the birth, but hearing me put him at ease. He had imagined losing me or our daughter our both during the labour. While on the phone the midwife popped in to let us know our baby weighed a tiny 2lb 10oz.

An hour later my hubby, my mum, my dad and the in laws arrived. I was still hooked up to an IV. At the same time they arrived so did my lunch.

Now I don’t know if you have had a cannula removed from your hand but afterward it was tender. I had three removed from one hand this week. Every time I put my hand down by my side I got a painful throbbing sensation in it, I had to keep it elevated. The other hand was attached to the IV and I couldn’t reach the food.

This is where the hubby comes in use. I asked him to feed me. Now when I imagined my hubby feeding me my lunch I envisioned him lovingly and adoringly giving me small delicate mouthfuls. WRONG! He shovelled heaped fork full of cottage pie in my mouth before reloading and trying again while I still had a mouthful. My vision ruined I gave up and just asked for the ice cream instead.

Once I had eaten, the hubby, my dad and the in laws went in search of food while my mum helped me shower.

I don’t care how old you get you will always need your mum. She has helped me in the shower after every birth and this one was no different.

nicu adventure

The tribe arrived back from lunch and it was time. I was sat in a damn wheelchair and taken to the NICU to see my baby girl.

She was tiny. We were warned her skin would be really sticky but it wasn’t. She was perfect. She was covered in wires and tubing equipment to breath for her.

I placed my hand over her entire body and that would be the beginning of our NICU adventure.

nicu adventure

Do you still want more. How about checking out the first time I held my new baby here.

Don’t forget to check out the birth of my eldest daughter and my Little man

a special birth story part 1 pregnant

a special birth story part 1 pregnant

back to the beginning!

When you first find out you are pregnant so many thoughts run through your mind. Most of them excited about the long road ahead.

With this birth story I will be back tracking and taking you back right to the beginning. Where it all started, when I found out I was pregnant.

It took 18months to conceive my son, so we decided early we didn’t want to wait to try for our third in case it took as long with our third. Turns out it would take longer.

Isn’t it just so, when everybody seems to be pregnant when you are trying to have a baby. Maybe you just notice them more. I remember throughout the three years trying for a baby this person was pregnant, that person was pregnant; everyone seemed to be pregnant but me. On the odd occasion I would go home to my husband crying because yet again it wasn’t me.

I lost count of the number of people who said to me ‘but you have two beautiful babies, be thankful for what you have.’ I AM grateful for what I have thank – you. Let me tell you now this is the most disheartening thing you can say to a woman who desperately ants another baby.

If she has other children she is fully aware of how ‘lucky’ she is that some ladies don’t have babies at all. But it makes the pain of not having that next baby any less heartache. She doesn’t need to be told how lucky she already is. And the same goes for ‘just relax, if you stress too much it won’t happen’. I am fully aware of this however, you try having this huge want, need for another baby and it isn’t happening. Let’s see how stressed you get. Some people should learn to keep their mouths shut; trying for a baby can be a touchy subject. (That’s my rant bit over).

However after the second year of trying for a baby had past, I had learnt to be thicker skinned about it all. Just smile and nod. I no longer let it get to me, I was happy for those around me who were blessed with expecting a new baby. Not that I wasn’t before, but I no longer went home and cried.

We had moved back home with my parents by this point, so it wasn’t the right time anyway.

It was coming up to three years trying for a baby and that hit me pretty hard. I decided to give searching the web for help again before going down the doctor route.

I came across a few forums on netmums I think it was, about vitamin B complex. So I bought some vitamins along with trying to conceive multivits. I was hoping it would help with regulating my periods more, losing a stone had already helped a little.

Sure enough four weeks I started spotting so I stopped taking the vitamins and the spotting stopped with it. Guess it wasn’t going to work.

A few weeks later I started feeling unwell, feeling sick because I was hungry, feeling sick because I had eaten. I couldn’t win.

I spoke with my sister in law and she said she had been feeling similar. However, a week later and I was no better. I jokingly said to my sister in law, ‘hey I’m probably pregnant’. She was unsure if I was joking or not. Part of me was joking however, the other part of me had a feeling it wasn’t a joke.

I mentioned it to my husband and he told me to find out for sure and get a test. I did, eventually order a test from Amazon three weeks later.

Part of me didn’t want to get my hopes up. If I didn’t pee on the stick I wouldn’t be disappointed again so I left it as long as I could. My period was nothing to go by as that would make an appearance anywhere between six and sixteen weeks. I was still feeling ill so I had to bite the bullet.

When the test did finally arrive I didn’t wait and went straight to the toilet.

When the stick came up positive I couldn’t wait to text the hubby a picture.

I’m Pregnant!

My pregnancy went well; I threw up in bushes on the school run, fell asleep at inappropriate hours, and had heart burn from the moment I woke to the moment I went to bed.

I loved being pregnant this time around. I enjoyed my first pregnancy, my second I hated every second. But I loved my third. I don’t know what it was but this pregnancy just suited me, despite the sickness and heartburn.

The time was flying by, probably due to the fact I was about eleven weeks when the stick turned positive and about fourteen weeks we told family.

My 20 week scan approached and we were excited to find out if we were going t have a little girl or little boy.

At my 20 week scan the sonographer had a good look around; the baby was in an awkward position. She had to push fairly hard t get in and around the baby to take all the measurements. We did however find out we were expecting a girl. We also found out that I had a slightly low placenta, and I would need further scans in the hope it would move up.

The excitement oh having a little girl had us skipping out of the hospital. We decided to keep the fact we were having a girl to ourselves, just me and the hubby. We did almost slip a few times.

After the scan we went home to chill on the sofa.

I bent over the back of the sofa to pick something up. I felt a kind of pop sensation and immediately needed the toilet.

I went to the toilet and the colour drained from my face. I was bleeding, a lot. The sonographer had warned me I may have a bleed, I did not expect it to be two hours later.

Back to the hospital we go.

I spent the night in hospital and sent home to take it easy.

The next few weeks were busy. We had just bought our first home, it was the summer holidays and we had to get the house ready to move in by the end of the holidays. The entire holiday was filled with decorating and packing.

We moved in to our new home just before the ids went back to school. We had to live off microwave meals, salad and anything else we could make without a hob and oven.

We had been in the house two weeks before our oven fitted. We still had to wait a further 24 hours to use it.

The electrician came back and gave us the all clear to use the oven. Hurray! I set about making a cottage pie.

I managed to persuade my sister to come over in the afternoon; she played with LM while I set about cutting the onions for my cottage pie.

I was half way through my onion when I needed to pee and couldn’t stop myself. I ran to the toilet and the water still kept going. Either I had lost all control of my bladder or my waters had broken.

I called the midwife and she asked to see me at the hospital for an examination, as I was still losing water 15 minutes later the likely hood of my waters have being broken was high.

I was calm and collected. My mum on the other hand was a total wreck, I did offer to drive the car to the hospital, and I think I had a better chance of getting us there in one piece.

My water’s were the first thing to go to indicate my labour with my first pregnancy. I was 28 weeks pregnant and on my way to hospital, possibly about to have my baby.

Want to know what happens next? Head over to part 2 and read more.

The first time I held you

the first time i held you

A letter to my baby girl born prematurely. You are a big part of the reason I wanted to start blogging. I just wished I had started sooner to log all my memories and thoughts throughout the first few months of your life.


To my baby girl…

The first time I held you

Four days! You were four days old when I first got to hold you. That precious time just you and me, kangaroo care all the way. I placed you down my top to keep you safe and warm.

You snuggled up under my chin, I barely felt you there, you were so small. Tubes and wires would get tangled and placed all over us, there were so many.

the first time i held you

I lay back in my chair, the room so silent. I lightly kissed you on your head, trying not to disturb you too much. I would smell you as you slept so soundly on my chest. That baby smell that any mum can recognise, I wasn’t sure you would have but you did.

Those tiny little fingers grasped at my clothes as you made yourself comfortable. The alarms went off and the oxygen was turned up, the alarms went off and the oxygen was turned down.

You were my tiny delicate baby, yet you were stronger than all of us. The one I tried to hold on to but you were ready to make your appearance ahead of time. I would visit you as often as I could, and hold you in my arms for as long as I could. Even if that was only for an hour, that time was mine and yours.

Nobody else mattered when you were tucked up in my arms, nobody else was there. It was just me and you as I lay back in the chair and drifted in a light sleep listening to your breath, feeling your heart beat against my chest.

That feels a lifetime ago now. Now that you are nine months old and are so much bigger. I regret not being there as much as I wanted to be and not holding you more often. I tried to make up for it when you got home and wouldn’t put you down.

You were my tiny delicate baby. The one I tried to hold on to but you were ready to make your appearance ahead of time.

Now you are nine months old, the time has gone so fast. Now that you are nine months old you are growing up so quick.

Now you are nine months old you are chunky and squishy, there is so much of you to love.

I love the fact you now cuddle me back and slobber over my face when you kiss me.

I wish I could have kept you inside until you were ready and finished growing, but those special moments in the hospital. Those special moments I will remember forever. The fist time we fed you a bottle at 6 weeks old. Your first ever bath at 7 weeks old. The way you would turn your head towards us when you heard daddy’s voice when you were first born.

You being born prematurely may have not been the idea of a perfect pregnancy or birth. But you are perfect in everything you do.

The first time I held you was something special, a moment I will never forget. Every first we have together is special and cherished. A memory that holds a big piece of my heart.

Love you always
Mummy xXx

Want to hear more about our premature journey check out the post of her birth right here.